Scared and Emberassed

I just received the link to the pics that were taken at the 10K and I am emaciated. Honestly when i look in the mirror I do not see that skeletal person that is me (i guess). It also scares the crap out of me! I have looked way worse (scary thought i know) but I have. At my lowest I weighed 10 lbs less than I do now and I didn't exercise. It was not a good time and I was trying to find something to control and my weight and eating habits fit the bill.
I wrote in a previous post about balance and I am NOT balancing very well I guess.
If you follow me on twitter I made some very nice comments about my talk with the scale (haha) and then I see pics of myself and I totally get slapped in the face. I really am struggling and I do not want to give up running at all but eating more isn't helping.
I haven't written about my runs this week (although I have ran every day) but I am making a conscious effort to put on the lbs. It is so hard, even though I know it is best because I do want to be healthy and I think it will make me run better too.
The people closest to me have been true encourager's and I appreciate them so much. After I saw the first pictures (that I took) I was upset but now I am just really sad. I am sad that this matters to me so much and I am MAD at myself. So.... operation put on 10 lbs is officially on.
This is my marathon!!! It is going to be hard. People say "just eat" but I feel like I have been so we are going to try something else I guess.
I am still going to be training for my half in March but I am going to HAVE to solve my nutrition issues and quick because I WILL NOT look like a skeleton in those pics. I want to be proud of them.
Happy Running!!